7 Major ESFJ Weaknesses & How to Manage Them (2024)

Learning about your weaknesses is more helpful than most people think. Instead of using this information to feel guilty, you can benefit from it to make the right choices that take you closer to the best version of yourself.

If you are unaware of your shortcomings, you may end up in troubling situations that divert you from your long-term objectives. Once you know and embrace them, you can take conscious steps to overcome them.

The ESFJ weaknesses are their constant concern about their reputation and their inflexible approach to life.

ESFJ Weaknesses

1. Worried About Their Reputation

A ESFJ weakness is their preoccupation with the image they want to convey to the world. ESFJ personalities are too worried about their social status and what other people think of them, a trait that stems from the extraverted (E) side of their personality.

This ESFJ flaw appears when engaging in social or work affairs. They go to great lengths to impress their peers with their outfits, accomplishments, and conversations, sacrificing their own interests in pursuit of popularity.

How to Deal With it

• They can manage this ESFJ negative trait by focusing on their own values and goals rather than worrying about meeting other people’s expectations.
• ESFJ personalities can minimize this shortcoming by practicing self-acceptance rather than trying to be someone they are not.
• These personalities can overcome this weakness by seeking out supportive relationships rather than surrounding themselves with judgmental people.

2. Rigid

Another weakness for ESFJ people is their inflexible mindset. These individuals base their decisions on what’s socially acceptable and are very critical of anything outside the mainstream.

This ESFJ problem stems from the judging (J) trait of their personality, making them structured and unable to cope with change.

This ESFJ weakness at work can be particularly problematic. These individuals are very strict about their routines and refuse to let go of the tried-and-true methods, missing valuable opportunities to progress in their career path.

How to Deal With it

• These individuals can manage this weakness by being open to new ideas and perspectives instead of automatically rejecting them.
• ESFJ personalities could minimize this shortcoming by being more curious rather than assuming they know everything about specific topics.
• People with ESFJ personalities could overcome this flaw by being willing to try new things and step outside their comfort zone.

3. Too conservative

One of the most tricky ESFJ problems is their reluctance to innovate or be spontaneous. They are too scared of appearing foolish or different, so they stick to their conservative ways.

This ESFJ personality weakness also stems from the judging (J) side of their character, making them too structured and adept to the established order.

Whenever a new idea is proposed, or a new project is introduced, these personalities are quick to dismiss it and stick with the familiar methods. They often resist new technologies or approaches and are unwilling to take risks or try new things in their professional and personal life.

How to Deal With it

• To minimize this negative ESFJ characteristic, they can embrace change or uncertainty with a positive mindset rather than avoid it.
• These personalities could manage this weakness by taking risks and trying new things, helping them develop new skills and perspectives.
• ESFJ personalities can overcome this shortcoming by seeking out friends and mentors who are supportive, encouraging, and non-judgmental, eager to help them grow and develop.

4. Easily offended

Another negative personality trait of ESFJ people is their inability to take criticism. These personalities become very defensive when others criticize their decisions, habits, and choices, even if it’s constructive.

This problematic characteristic stems from the feeling (F) side of their personality, making them subjective, susceptible, and easily hurt.

This personality trait has room for improvement, especially in their social interactions. They often take things personally and have difficulty separating their own feelings from the opinions of others.

How to Deal With it

• ESFJ personalities could manage this weakness by practicing being kind to themselves and forgiving themselves for their mistakes.
• These individuals can overcome this negative personality trait by actively seeking out constructive, well-intentioned criticism rather than avoiding it.
• ESFJ people could minimize this problematic trait by developing a thick skin and focusing on the content of the criticism rather than the tone or delivery.

5. Too Needy

Another ESFJ deficiency is their lack of emotional independence. If these personalities are not constantly praised and valued, they get hurt and offended.

This personality weakness stems from the extravert (E) side of their personalities. These individuals are energized when getting validation from others, making them fish for compliments to feel reassured.

This is a particularly problematic ESFJ weakness in relationships. These personalities are always asking their friends and family for help with simple tasks and are quick to become upset or anxious when they don’t get the support they need.

How to Deal With it 

• ESFJ can manage this personality weakness by practicing self-reliance and being able to take care of themselves rather than relying on others to do things for them.
• These individuals can minimize this problematic trait by focusing on their own needs and interests instead of constantly seeking validation from others.
• ESFJ personalities can overcome this shortcoming by seeking relationships that give them a sense of belonging and acceptance, helping them feel more confident and secure in themselves.

6. Self-sacrificing

Another ESFJ negative quality is their extremely selfless nature. They put other people’s wants and needs on top of their own, neglecting their own needs in the process. 

At the same time, they give too much attention to people who don’t need it, an attitude that causes conflict in their interactions.

This weakness stems from the extravert (E) side of their personality, as they feel emotionally safe when others appreciate their efforts.

ESFJs are always available to help others, willing to sacrifice their own needs and desires in order to support their family. As a result, they may become exhausted, overwhelmed, and burnt out from constantly putting others first.

How to Deal With it 

• ESFJs could minimize this personality weakness by practicing self-care and prioritizing their emotional well-being.
• These individuals can overcome this shortcoming by setting firm boundaries and limits around the time and energy they devote to others.
• ESFJ personalities can manage this negative personality trait by spending time with other selfless friends that can take care of themselves.

7. Conflict-averse

Another potential problem area that causes stress to these personalities is their conflict-averse character. They want to avoid arguments and fights at all costs, a trait that stems from the feeling (F) side of their personality.

These sensitive individuals have difficulty expressing their own opinions and feelings and often go along with what others want in order to avoid confrontation or disagreement. 

As a result, they may have difficulty standing up for themselves or resolving conflicts and may become frustrated or resentful when others don’t take their needs into account.

How to Deal With it

• ESFJs could minimize this personality weakness by practicing assertiveness and expressing their own opinions and feelings in a clear and direct way.
• Another trick to overcoming this shortcoming is to learn to compromise and find a middle ground with others.
• ESFJ personalities can manage this negative personality trait by spending time with people who encourage them to be authentic and speak their mind openly.

FAQ

What is ESFJs weakest function?

ESFJs weakest function is the high value they place on their social reputation.

What do ESFJs struggle with?

ESFJ struggle with their inflexible mindset and inability to cope with change.

What do ESFJs fear the most?

ESFJs fear the most appearing foolish or different in front of others.

What annoys the ESFJs the most? 

What annoys the ESFJs the most is their constant need for validation.

What is the dark side of ESFJs?

The dark side of ESFJs is their judgmental and critical character.

What annoys people about ESFJs?

What annoys people about ESFJs is their needy and clingy personalities.

What are ESFJs misunderstood as?

ESFJs are misunderstood as being too defensive when they are simply vulnerable to others’ criticism.

What stresses out ESFJs the most?

What stresses out ESFJs the most are sudden changes and unexpected developments.

How to improve ESFJ weaknesses?

The best way to improve ESFJ weaknesses is by practicing self-assurance and self-acceptance.