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Words of Affirmation Love Language: The Definitive Guide (2024)

The five love languages hold a vital role when it comes to creating a happy and strong relationship with the people we love. 

One of which is the Words of Affirmation love language, wherein the best way to express and receive love is not through gifts or actions but through the words we speak. 

From a simple “I love you” to other forms of words of affirmation, this will surely pave the way to a happy heart and a strong bond.

What Are Words of Affirmation?

Gary Chapman identified five love languages that make every relationship special, and one way to express and receive love is through words of affirmation. In this love language, spoken or written words are very meaningful. 

It may be in the form of compliments, encouragement, appreciation, or even simple words that would make the person feel loved and adored. To put it simply, the saying “action speaks louder than words” is not applicable to the people who speak this love language. 

For them, hearing beautiful words already equate with all the gifts or sweet actions you can possibly give or do to them. Even a simple “thank you for this” or “I appreciate you doing that” can go a long way in making them feel loved. 

But also take note that every word you say has significance to them. Hence, hurtful or insensitive words can cut too deep. If your partner or kid’s love language is words of affirmation, always make sure to choose your words wisely to avoid misunderstandings.

Examples of Words of Affirmation

For this love language words of affirmation can be delivered through various forms. It can be through a compliment, words of appreciation, and gratitude. If this is not your primary love language, and it’s awkward for you to say appreciative words to your loved ones, you won’t have to worry at all. 

The best thing about this love language is the fact that you don’t always have to say it face to face. You can simply leave a note on the fridge or send a personal message saying how beautiful they are and that you love them. 

It doesn’t have to be deep and you don’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about what to say to them. Some other words of affirmation examples are noticing a change in their hairstyle or how good they look on their dress or jeans. 

You can also ask them if they are feeling better after a night of migraine or if they had a good night’s sleep. The thing is, it’s not always about saying beautiful words. A word of affirmation could also be simple questions that could make them feel how much you care for them.

Key Factors of Words of Affirmation

The words of affirmation may be one of the most common and used love languages, but there are still lots of misconceptions about it. 

It is important to know these myths so you can speak this love language fluently and to create a more profound relationship with your loved ones using a list of words of affirmation.

There Isn’t a Perfect Sentence for Every Situation

Oftentimes, we feel like there should always be a perfect word, phrase, or sentence for every situation in life. We think too hard and we put too much effort into it that we often lose its true meaning. 

It’s okay to do that at times, but remember not to be too hard on yourself or your loved one if the words being uttered are not as perfect as you expect them to be. You will always come to a point where you will be at a loss for the right words, and it’s okay. 

What really matters is that you are trying your best to express your love and appreciation to the people you love. 

The same goes for your loved ones. If you are expecting them to say words of affirmation, but they couldn’t formulate the right words, give them credit for making an effort. Words shouldn’t always have to be right or perfect. 

What’s important is they are genuine and that they came from the heart.

Don’t Be Mean With Your Words

Since words are very significant for people with this love language, it’s necessary to remember to be sensitive and cautious when speaking. As much as they love hearing beautiful words coming from your mouth, they truly hate it when your verbal expressions seem hurtful. 

They give deeper meanings to every word being said to them, so even the slightest insult or criticism could break their hearts. 

Remember that for them, your words are equivalent to your actions; therefore, one harsh word for them could mean that they are not good or special enough. So, be careful with the words you say to your loved ones especially if you know that this is their primary love language. 

It doesn’t mean that you have to sugarcoat everything you say to them. It only means that as much as possible, do not deliberately say words that you know will hurt them.

Create a List of Affirmations

If you are going to define words of affirmation, you will realize that it is not just about validation or confirmation. This love language is very broad in the sense that you can also give compliments and gratitude to your partner or your kids. 

But if words don’t come easy for you, there is a simple way to solve your problem and that is to create a list. Of course, you first have to identify what are words of affirmation would make your loved ones feel special. 

Do they like to be complimented or do they prefer to feel appreciated? Once you know the affirmation words they favor, do some research and list down all possible words that could be very useful to your cause. If you like watching romantic movies, take advantage of it by listing down all the sweet phrases you hear from the actors. 

Listen to music, write down some cheesy lines from the lyrics, and try rephrasing the words to suit your partner’s needs. Do some research on pick-up lines that would make your partner feel entertained and special. 

Or perhaps try using an app that would help you increase your vocabulary. Whatever you prefer to do, do it for the sole purpose of making your partner feel loved and appreciated. It would make the words of affirmation meaning even more significant.

Focus on Authenticity

If I’m going to give you the words of affirmation love language definition, I’ll tell you that it doesn’t simply end with uttered words. Genuine feelings and emotions should be attached to those words to let your loved ones know that they are truly loved and cherished. 

What’s the sense of a word or a phrase if it doesn’t come from the heart? Make it genuine and authentic by personalizing it. Words such as “you look good” or “I like you” are very common. Make it more meaningful by incorporating essential details. 

For example, instead of just saying “you look good,” say “you look good on that red dress and high heels.” Or instead of the mainstream “I like you,” say “I like how your eyes sparkle whenever you talk about your passion.” 

Say what you genuinely like about them because it will give them the idea that you’re really paying attention to them. It’s sweet and heartwarming for them to know that they are being seen by the people they love. 

Additionally, observe your loved ones and make notes of affirmation that make them look very satisfied and fulfilled. Authentic words will make them feel that way.

Detecting Words of Affirmation Love Language

It is very easy to detect if someone’s primary love language is words of affirmation. Always remember that these people give more emphasis on their words rather than their actions. They are very observant and would always vocalize if they notice something nice about you. 

If you had a haircut or a new nail polish, they will be the first to take notice and will surely give you compliments. They tend to say appreciative words or words of adoration more than a person whose love language is not words of affirmation. 

Saying “I love you” once a day won’t be enough, or giving a few compliments won’t suffice, especially if you’re someone they care about. Likewise, these people will always ask if you like how they look or what they are wearing. 

They tend to ask for your opinions because your words matter to them. For example, the best words of affirmation for girlfriend with this love language would be “I love how you did your curls” or “that color looks good on your skin tone.” 

Even when they know personally that they look good, they will still prefer to hear it from you or from the people they love. They will always ask for verbal affirmation and words of appreciation or encouragement. 

For them, the words of affirmation love language meaning is deeper and more significant if they hear it from their loved ones. It makes them feel seen and appreciated, and as a result, will also make them feel special and loved.

Your Love Language is Words of Affirmation

If you like hearing positive feedback, appreciative words, and compliments, then perhaps your primary love language is words of affirmation. If this is the love language you speak, make sure to share it with your partner and be open about what you really want and need. 

Since words are your best expression of love, teach your partner or even your kids how to use their words as well. Tell them which words could uplift you and words that could hurt you. 

By being more verbal about this love language, you are also educating them about the fact that expressing and receiving love doesn’t end with gifts or physical touches. 

You are teaching them how powerful words are, and that they have to be sensitive with their choice of words as well. 

And if this is your love language, you can nourish your relationship too by making your partner or kid feel appreciated through your words regardless if they speak the same love language or not.

How to Receive Words of Affirmation?

Receiving the words of affirmation love language is very simple. Since words are an essential part of our daily lives, not a day will pass by without you getting your daily dose of words. However, the best way to get or receive affirmations is if you are vocal about your needs to your loved ones. 

Do you need to know if they like your new style? Ask them. Do you need reassurance that you will do great in your interview today? Tell them. 

Tomorrow is your anniversary and you’re doubtful whether your partner remembers or not? Remind them. Sometimes, you also need to consider the fact that not everyone speaks the same love language as you. 

And if you feel like you’re not receiving enough affirmations, do not hesitate to tell your loved ones that words are important for you and it is your preferred way of receiving love. 

On the other hand, you can also do things for yourself that will help you receive words of affirmation without the help of other people. You can do this through positive self-talk, reading books, or even listening to uplifting songs.

Your Partner Love Language is Words of Affirmation

Does your partner love hearing words of affirmation from you? You don’t have to worry because words can come naturally. Although you must give more importance and caution on your words, it won’t be that much of a problem. 

Just remember to always give praise, appreciation, and gratitude to your partner regardless of the situation you’re in. 

Some examples of words of affirmation for her would be “you look beautiful as always,” “that new hair color compliments your pretty eyes,” or maybe a simple “thank you for cooking my favorite meal” would do the trick. 

As for the words of affirmation for him, you can say “you look gorgeous on that suit,” “thank you for buying my favorite flowers; that’s really sweet of you,” or “that cologne smells really nice!” 

You see, no need to spend too much time thinking about how to give words of affirmation to your partner. As long as it comes from the heart, your partner will surely appreciate every word you say.

How to give Words of Affirmation to Your Partner?

There are numerous words of affirmation love language ideas that you can say or do for your partner. If they love words of affirmation, always make sure to give it to them every single day. 

Some words of affirmation ideas could be in the form of compliments like noticing what you like about them and sharing your reason for liking it. 

For example, you can say, “I really love your quirks because it makes me happy.” It could also be in the form of gratitude, like “I really appreciate you taking the time to do the laundry today.” Or it could be in the form of encouragement or sympathy. 

As an example, you may say “I’m really sorry you didn’t pass the interview, but I’m sure you gave your best and you did great.” 

If you are going to make words of affirmation list for your partner, you’ll notice that even on the most typical day, you are already expressing your love and appreciation to them in the simplest way. 

Again, there are no perfect words in every situation. Just be sure to give affirmation to your partner every day, and you will surely be appreciated.

Your Child Love Language is Words of Affirmation

It’s necessary for us to know that at a very young age, children already have a concept of love. Therefore, even kids have a love language they so fluently speak, and we must take the time to listen to them. 

If this is your kid’s love language, the affirmation meaning could be extremely powerful as it can affect their development as well. If giving affirmations to others is easy for you, then providing affirming words to your kid won’t be a problem at all. 

Kids are even more appreciative, and just a simple “I love you” from you can already make them feel loved and special. 

Even if they love receiving gifts and physical affection, or spending quality time with you, if words of affirmation is their primary love language, then words are the most important thing you can give them.

Words of Affirmation for Kids

Words are extremely powerful for kids, that is why it’s important that you give extra consideration when it comes to them. It will not only make them feel appreciated and loved, but it will also help them develop well in terms of emotional and cognitive areas. 

Some of the affirmation examples you can say to your kid could be “you did well on your math test,” or “thank you for helping me wash the dishes tonight.” Notice their efforts no matter how big or small. 

Always give them praise for everything they have accomplished and achieved. Tell them they are beautiful or handsome and that they are smart and talented. Let them know what needs to be improved through words of encouragement and avoid criticisms for every mistake they make. 

Teach them the importance of words and that it has a huge impact on a person’s development. Always remember that words are very powerful, and if you use it properly, there is no doubt that your kid’s love tank will always be full.

List of Words of Affirmation Ideas

If you’re wondering how to speak words of affirmation fluently, there are several ways to do it that don’t require too much time and effort. 

Most of the time, we do it naturally but fail to notice it because it seems mundane. 

But the truth is, words of affirmation are part of our everyday lives. Here are lists of possible ideas that we fail to recognize at first:

For Partners

  • Always say you love them and tell them how much they mean to you every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep
  • Show your partner how much you care by leaving sticky notes on visible places with gentle reminders like “don’t forget to drink your medicine” or “keep safe on your way to work”
  • Send them a random message or email saying you miss them and that you look forward to spending time with them
  • Always notice their appearances like their hair, their eyes, or even the clothes they are wearing and share why you like them
  • Say you’re proud of them whenever they accomplish or achieve something no matter how small it is
  • Whenever you see a specific object and the thought of them crosses your mind, always make sure to let them know that you’re thinking of them
  • Express your gratitude whenever your partner does something nice or sweet for you
  • Write a short poem or a song and dedicate it to them. If you can’t write those, you can just simply write a handwritten love letter to let them know how much you admire them
  • Always offer emotional support whenever they are feeling down, stressed, or stuck through words of encouragement
  • Buy your partner a gift – it could be a card, a flower, or a watch – and write a personalized letter for them

For Kids

  • Tell your kids how much you love and appreciate them more often
  • Do some fun and interesting activities with your kid that include drawings and writings and display their finished work in the living room for everyone to see
  • Do not criticize or scold your kid whenever they make a mistake, but rather teach them to do well next time through words of encouragements
  • Say words of appreciation and encouragement whenever you notice your kid making an effort in accomplishing their schoolwork or in doing household chores assigned to them
  • Say the words “I am proud of you” not only when they have achievement but also whenever they fail at something they worked hard for
  • Talk about your child to your relatives and friends in a nice and proud way. Focus on their positive traits, and not on the traits or skills they lack
  • Make sure to keep the conversation flowing whenever they seek your attention to share something they find interesting. Kids are naturally talkative, and you’re encouraging them to be good storytellers by engaging in enjoyable conversations
  • Use a unique term of endearment to your child to make them feel special and loved
  • Make your child’s lunchbox and attach a simple note with gentle reminders like “eat your fruit so you’ll be strong and healthy” or “don’t forget to drink your water”
  • Encourage your child to be mindful and aware of their feelings and emotions by starting a mom-child journal. It will not only teach them the importance of acknowledging one’s emotions but will also help them deal with negative ones in a healthy manner.

For Yourself

  • Write and keep a love letter to yourself which you will read in five or ten years
  • Every time you look in the mirror each morning, make sure to use words of affirmation such as “you’re beautiful” and “you’re smart” to remind yourself of all your positive traits
  • Make a bucket list of all the things you’ve always wanted to try
  • Make a journal and list down all the things you’re grateful for every day
  • Acknowledge all your efforts and hard work and never forget to say how proud you are of yourself for all the things you have accomplished
  • Read a book whether it’s a novel or an academic book. What’s important is you are enriching your vocabulary
  • Read quotes or poems, and listen to music that is uplifting and motivating
  • Practice positive self-talk for every situation especially during your anxious or down moments
  • Stop being your own critic. Focus on your positive qualities and do your best to nourish them
  • Look for the best mantra that could help you practice self-compassion

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