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Physical Touch Love Language: The Definitive Guide (2024)

ByKaitlyn Treece

To foster healthy relationships with your loved ones, it’s important to know one’s preferred way of expressing and receiving affection to avoid miscommunication.

In one of the five love languages, touch, proximity, and other forms of physical connection are ways of doing it. This refers to the Physical Touch love language. 

What is Physical Touch?

There are several ways of providing love and creating connection. Gary Chapman identified five love languages that help us to understand how we want to accept and give out love, and in one love language physical touch is the best way to do it. 

Other people prefer receiving gifts as a form of adoration from their partners or kids, while others favor hearing words of affirmation to know that they are important. 

For people who speak the physical touch love language, they don’t need these things, but would rather choose to do skin-to-skin contact with their loved ones. Some of the physical touch love language ideas involve kissing, hugging, holding hands, or even having sex with their partner. 

What’s interesting about this love language is that it’s very simple and easy to give. You don’t have to worry or stress about what you could give to your loved ones for them to feel special because this love language comes naturally. 

Not only will you provide love, warmth, and affection, but a simple touch can also help them relieve their stress and make them feel that they are not alone.

Examples of Physical Touch Love Language

The physical touch love language is a nonverbal way of showing someone that they are loved, cherished, and adored. 

Of course, touching is a very essential part of this love language, but it doesn’t end there. You can simply touch anyone or anyone can touch you, but if that touch doesn’t have love in it, then it’s useless. 

Also, people might think that this love language is only about sex, or that it’s all about sexual gratification. But in reality, it’s more than that. A simple touch doesn’t always have to lead to sex, and one simple gesture can actually go a long way.

Did you know that a simple pat on the back can already be meaningful to a person who speaks this love language as long as it comes from the right person? And it’s true that kissing, hugging, and cuddling are good examples of this love language, but you can also do it in other ways. 

You can hold your partner’s or your kid’s hand while walking. You can simply put your arm around your partner’s shoulder while watching a movie. If your partner is feeling a little stressed lately, why not give them a back massage?

For people who are in a long-distance relationship but speak the physical touch love language dating can be tough. How are you supposed to touch your partner who is miles away from you? It can be challenging, but there are still ways to communicate your love language to them like talking through video calls and doing things together while you’re at it. 

Key Factors of Physical Touch

A lot of misconceptions revolve around the physical touch love language, and it’s important to know what these are. It will help you to understand what this love language really is and you will have a better way of speaking or giving the physical touch love language to the people you love.

Respect Physical Boundaries

People might think that all kinds of touch is okay for those who speak the physical touch love language. But bear in mind that even these people have boundaries when it comes to touching. 

For example, they may like being kissed during cuddle time but hate it when you suddenly tickle them. Your partner may want you to always put your arms around their shoulder while watching a movie together, but doesn’t like it when you play with their hair. 

Or your kid probably loves to receive hugs but feels uncomfortable when your hugs get too tight. 

It may sound confusing at some point, but always remember that every person has their own preferences and it will be easier to understand this if the boundaries are being communicated clearly. 

If they say no to a certain touch, make sure to refrain from doing it again and ask your loved ones how they wanted to be touched next time.

Physical Touch Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Sex

Physical touch may oftentimes lead to sex with your partner but remember that it’s not always the case for some. There are certain people in our lives that speak this love language that are off-limits to sexual intimacies. 

It may be your parents or your kids and in physical touch love language friendship is also included. 

For these people, a simple touch on the hand for reassurance can already be meaningful. Or a fist bump to say that they did a good job. Perhaps hugging to say hello or goodbye is good enough.

The same goes for your romantic partners. If they speak the physical touch love language, it doesn’t always mean that they want sex all the time. Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship, but it doesn’t solve every problem in the world. 

For example, your partner just lost a loved one. Sex may be a way of forgetting or dealing with the grief, but there are other ways of soothing your partner. Aside from the comforting words, you can offer, you can do it while hugging them and caressing their back. 

Or offering to hold their hand during the funeral. Needless to say, there are so many ways you can speak the physical touch love language but it still depends on the person and on the situation you’re in. 

Find a Comfortable Level of Physical Touch

Showing your love to someone doesn’t always mean grand gestures. Just like in respecting someone’s boundaries, you should make a mental note of what’s comfortable for your partner and what isn’t. Again, it comes down to the situation you’re in. 

Even if your or your partner’s love language includes physical touching, make sure to make it comfortable not just to you and your partner but to the people surrounding you as well. If you’re outside with friends, you cannot just simply make out in front of them. 

You can still show your partner and the people around you that you’re in love through simple yet sweet gestures. You can hold their hand, put your arm around them, or you can just put your hand on their lower back. 

It shows just enough level of possessiveness and a promising amount of love and adoration. It only means that even in public places, you can still create a strong bond between you and your partner.

Physical Touch Can Work Through Distance

It’s true that physical touch in relationships is essential, but what about those who are far away from each other? A lot of people say that long-distance relationships don’t work because it’s hard to love someone when you’re not touching them. 

Yes, it’s true, but even people who prefer physical touch can work through this dilemma. In this new era, technology plays a vital role in our everyday lives, and you can still make your relationship work through the use of this technology. 

Gadgets are everywhere and you can actually use any gadget to make a video call to your loved ones. There are several platforms that offer this service – Messenger, Instagram, Skype, you name it. You can do things together while you’re on a video call like watching a movie or going to a park. 

You can also give them something that will remind them of you before they leave. Touching your loved ones may be hard and impossible if you’re in a long-distance relationship, but you can still make it work. You can still strengthen your bond even when you’re miles away. 

Nothing will ever compare to physical touches, but do not give up just because it’s hard. Distance is just a temporary thing. Sooner or later you will be together again, and then you make up for the lost time together.

Detecting Physical Touch Love Language

It’s not so hard to detect if you or your loved ones speak the physical touch love language. Of course, physical touches are necessary for any relationship, but take note that while people may like it, not everyone has the need to touch or be touched at all. 

Basically, people who are dominant in the physical touch love language are noticeably very touchy. They may kiss, hug, or snuggle you every chance they got. If your kid likes to hug you for no reason at all, then maybe his or her love language is physical touch. Perhaps they like it when you playfully mess with their hair as a way of saying “you did great!” 

Now, if your partner loves to cuddle with you, cannot simply sit on a couch without touching you, or enjoys having sex with you, there’s a high chance that they speak the physical touch love language. 

You may also notice it through nonsexual touch like squeezing your hand as a form of encouragement or support. Altogether, they find it very sweet and meaningful if you are touching them whether it involves romantic touches or non-romantic touches. 

Additionally, people may feel special and loved through gifts and words of affirmation, but for some, it’s the physical affection and intimate touching that really matters. If this is what you or they prefer, then there is no doubt that physical touching is your love language. 

Once you know if this is indeed your love language, there are several ways of doing physical touch in a relationship that could help you fill the love tank between you and your loved ones.

Your Love Language is Physical Touch

After identifying which love language you speak, the best thing to do is to say it to your partner. Communicating your wants and needs will not only avoid negative feelings if your needs aren’t met, but it will also strengthen your relationship. 

It’s important that your partner also has an idea of how you want to be treated and how to make you feel special and loved. Although physical contact in a relationship is really necessary and inevitable, it’s important to remember that not everyone can be as touchy as you want them to be. 

Tell them if you feel like they are not touching you enough, or if the way they touch you is not the way you prefer to be touched. It will also help if you won’t always wait for your partner or your loved ones to initiate physical touches. 

You can show them how you want to be touched by simply doing it to them. As an example, if you want snuggles, you can snuggle them first. If you want your kids to kiss you on the cheek or hug you when you arrive home, do these to them, and eventually, they’ll realize that it’s exactly how you want to be treated.

How to Receive Physical Touch?

If physical affection love language is what you speak, then you’re the type of person who wants to receive lots of touches and cuddles from your loved ones. 

Tell your partner or your kids to hug you if you feel lonely or stressed about work. Ask your partner to squeeze your hand if you need encouragement. 

Ask him or her to kiss you if you want physical intimacy or tell them to tighten the hug if you want to. But the physical touch definition doesn’t end with your loved ones. 

If you are single and there’s no one who can fulfill your need of being touched, you can do other things for yourself as well. Get a massage. Go to the salon. Get a foot spa. Moreso, if my love language is physical touch and I cannot receive a romantic touch from a partner, I’ll get creative and get a much-needed touch through self-care.

Your Partner Love Language is Physical Touch

You probably have an idea by now if your partner’s love language is physical touch. If they do, you might ask “what is physical love” and what are the implications of this. If your partner speaks this love language, you won’t have to worry too much because physical touches come naturally. 

Aside from the fact that it’s human nature to touch, there’s no need to stress about money and gifts. It’s a free and easy way to show the people we love how much we cherish them. However, the love language of touch can be quite tricky and complicated at times. 

For example, you wanted sex and you thought that your partner also wanted the same because of the intimate touches you were giving each other but the truth is your partner only wanted to cuddle. 

Remember that sex is a form of the love language of touch, but it is not the only way of speaking this love language. Be open and communicative to avoid misunderstandings.

How to Give Physical Touch to Your Partner?

If your partner speaks the physical touch love language, physical contact is the best way to show your love and adoration towards them. In this love language, you don’t have to think about big gestures. 

If you think that a simple resting of your head on their shoulder doesn’t mean anything to them, you might want to think again. These gestures, no matter how simple and natural, already mean a lot to them. 

Even a simple hand squeeze or a deliberate tickling during cuddle time is already enough to fill their love tank. If they are happy or even if they are sad, a tight hug could mean the world to them. 

Kiss them on the lips or on the forehead for no reason at all. Always initiate physical contact, and do it for the sole purpose of making them feel loved and special. The thing is, never forget that physical touching in relationships is necessary for creating and strengthening a bond. 

Your Child Love Language is Physical Touch

Love languages are not only applicable to grown-ups. In fact, at a very young age, children already know their preferences when it comes to expressing and receiving love. 

Sometimes, children prefer receiving gifts. And then other times, children just want to spend time with you and cuddle with you. The truth is, the importance of touch in relationships is also applicable and even more necessary for your child’s development. 

Even if the physical love language is not their own love language, make sure to shower them with lots of hugs and kisses. 

And if this is indeed their love language, the need for physical touch is even more necessary. It means that you have to double or triple the hugs and kisses you are giving them every day. 

Play with them through interactive games. Or sleep with them during afternoon naps. No matter how simple your gestures are, it gives the physical touch meaning a whole new and deeper meaning for them. 

Physical Touch Love Language for Kids

The best thing about kids is that even the simplest gift or the simplest gesture can mean a lot to them. Hug them whenever they’re sad or for no reason at all. Kiss them on the cheek or on the forehead to let them know how much you love them. 

Give them high fives or fist bumps as a form of positive reinforcement if they accomplished something. Or just simply hold their hand while crossing the street. It will make them feel like you care about them and that you don’t want anything bad to happen to them. 

You see, these things are very common. You probably realize by now that through your simple actions, your kid would feel that they are loved and cared for. But do think about boundaries as even kids have limitations as well. 

Don’t hug them too tight because they might feel restricted. Don’t kiss them too much in public as they might feel embarrassed. 

Again, communicate with your kids. Ask them if it’s okay for you to do those things in public or if they have other boundaries and respect them.

List of Physical Touch Love Language Ideas

This may not be easy to notice at first, but you are actually practicing the physical love language in your everyday life. You might have some insights by now, but there are still a lot of possible ways on how to show physical affection, and here are some ideas that could help you be fluent in this love language.

For Partners

  • Kisses are not just for intimate situations. Make sure to kiss your partner before going to work and once you arrived at home
  • Take your partner out and dance your night away
  • Give them a massage, foot spa, or backrub if you notice that they are feeling a little stressed
  • Hug them every day and hug them tighter on the days that they need it the most
  • No matter how busy you both are, make sure to allow some time for cuddles and snuggles
  • Watch a movie together or do things where you can lay your head on their lap or rest your head on their shoulder
  • Put your hand on their thigh or touch their hand while you’re driving
  • Play with their hair on lazy days or simply comb and tie their hair as a form of affection
  • Put your arm around their shoulder while watching a movie or reading a book or simply place your hand at the small of their back when walking outside
  • Initiate sex by giving them intimate touches and kisses

For Kids

  • Think of a unique and creative handshake with your kid
  • Give them high fives and fist bumps
  • Snuggle with your kid during movie or reading time
  • Find interactive games or any game and sport that require touching and play it with your kid
  • Comb and tie or just simply stroke your child’s hair if it’s something they enjoy
  • Give your kid a piggyback ride on the way to the park
  • Always tuck your child in at bedtime and kiss their forehead before leaving their room
  • Hug your kid when they are happy, sad or upset and make them feel like you are always there to feel their emotions with them
  • Plan and schedule a family time where you can all snuggle in and do a family hug
  • Caress your kid’s back during hugs especially if they are mad or upset

For Yourself

  • Practice self-care by getting body massages and spas
  • Get a haircut or hair treatments where your head can be massaged too
  • Buy high-quality beddings and pillowcases to feel more comfortable during bedtime
  • Do physical activities like going for a run in the morning or swimming in the afternoon
  • Schedule hot baths from time to time to relieve all the stress you’re feeling from working hard
  • Cuddle with your loved ones or with your pet
  • Practice meditation and yoga and make sure to place your hand to your heart to make you feel more grounded
  • Learn how to sexually satisfy yourself
  • Soak yourself in the sun by doing sunbathing and spending some time on the beach
  • Listen to music and dance your stress away

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